Monday, March 12, 2018

Oh Stupid One

You know that Monday morning feeling? 
When you really don’t want to leave the bed? 

So, once again, you wish you could just be a very wealthy house wife?
So you can chill in an air conditioned house all day?
and not have to face human beings? 
or this really hot Lagos sun? 

But, you come back to reality
Ordinary teacher like you?
You have to face a few hundred students
In a classroom with only fans.

So, you get out of bed, 
say a prayer (or have a devotion), 
take a shower, dress up, put on makeup 
and put on a smile, 
hoping to have a great day. 

Wait what? Why can’t my car’s door open? 
And that’s when I noticed the dent in the front fender— some idiot had hit my car, given it a very deep dent and gone away, like he/she did nothing. 

This just ruined my already self imposed happy Monday
I was extremely pissed 
My plans for the day had a dramatic change
I had to spend about two hours at the panel beaters,
stayed under the scorching sun longer than expected
 paid money that I am “managing” 
and yet, it is still obvious that the car was hit. 
But still, I smile— 
because I wouldn’t allow a stupid one ruin my day or week! 

Sunday, March 4, 2018

You are next in line

Growing up, 
I always had the feeling that girls with older brothers had life easier for several reasons:
they learnt to be tough from a young age
they had someone available to fight any of their battles
it’s just generally cool to have an older brother
plus you can have many females sucking up to you, with the hope of being your brother's girlfriend 

But brethren, I came to this world after girls, 
while the boys came after me— so, two things I always really wanted: 
a senior brother and a junior sister (to become my protÊgÊe), I never had.

On several occasions, I borrowed senior brothers, and even borrowed junior sisters
But, I knew one day, the good Lord will smile on me! 

And in the past two weeks the Lord has finally smiled on me, 
we’ve had two marriages in my family — both my sisters. 
Remember Sister Queen? And my Sister, Jennifer? 

In the middle of February, Sister Queen got married to my first ever big brother đŸ˜ŦđŸ˜ŦđŸ˜Ŧ
Yoruba traditional weddings are apparently really beautiful— I never knew that because I cannot remember ever attending one. 
I guess it was even more beautiful because I was a part of it. 

Apart from the stress— I literally became the errand girl at home during preparations: 
"Deborah come and carry this bucket"
"Deborah, drive them to pick up the pots"
"Deborah, come and serve your aunty’s food"
"Deborah, go and buy milk"
Deborah this... Deborah that. 
A day before the wedding, I threw a major tantrum -- I was proper tired, yet I was sent to do everything per minute. 
I just left everyone downstairs and went to take a hard reset — sleep

Anyway, apart from the stress, the traditional wedding was amazing — 
I danced with so much joy, 
my sister looked so beautiful, 
my parents were running on 2 hours sleep, 
but they were so happy, 
I saw family and friends I hadn’t seen since I was ten— 
I even met one of my dad’s friends that asked if I remembered him— the last time he saw me, I was barely two years old ooo
So how I am supposed to remember him, I dunno oo

Yesterday, Sister Jennifer had her wedding introduction,
it was a very simple introduction ceremony, but absolutely nice 
Both husband and wife are pretty  shy and conservative, 
So they stuck to simple

So now, all the females from the Motilewa clan — from my dad directly, are all married... except me. 

And so the prayers have started 
You are next in line in Jesus’ name” 
We are coming for you ooo”
“Your own day is just around the corner” 
“Next month, we are coming for yours”

Likeeeee! Guys, can you please allow me finish celebrating with my sisters first? 

I am really really happy guys! My family has expanded 

It definitely seems like 2018 is a “marriage” year oo. All my personal people are starting their own families ❤️❤️❤️

Thursday, February 8, 2018

So much butt kissing, my mouth stinks

It's just Thursday, 
Yet, I have already kissed so much butt this week my mouth stinks  
I really find it difficult to understand why people make life unnecessarily difficult for others.
If you are in a position to get something done for another person, do so without waiting for the person to "salivate" all over you

Sometimes, I think it is the "power hungry" part of human beings that make them major annoying.

Give a rabbit small power now
he'll begin to feel like he is at the top of the food chain
But oh no -- the fox shows up and eats him up.

Oh now, mr Fox has gained a little power, and assumes kingship 
Just wait till a lion makes him its dinner. 
Bottom line,
If you are in the position to get something done for another person -- whether as a favour or as part of your duties -- just get it done and over with-- don't wait to be begged!

On the positive side, guess what? 
My very own personal big baby is getting married this weekend!

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Surprise party that the bride was not surprised

Once upon a time 
In the kingdom of Mahana mahana
there lived a small little girl called Debbie 

Debbie, always thought she was not a "wedding ceremony" type of person, 
but recent events have proved her wrong: wedding guest at her high school friend's wedding, team "support the bride" at her friend's wedding introduction and now "surprise" bridal shower planner for the first person she fought with in this world -- one of THE SISTERs!

Eiiiss a bridesmaid year guys. 

Yesterday, I planned what was supposed to be a surprise bridal shower for my sister 😃😃😃 
Emphasis on "supposed to be"

It obviously didn't help that I started planning the bridal shower by 2pm a day before.  

It was not my fault guys! 
You see, the way my brain is set up ehn
sometimes, last minute events are appealing. 

Hello googu.. how do I plan a bridal shower?
Hi, Tola... where can I get bridal shower props from?
Ahh Deola, what do they do at bridal showers?” 
Lady, can I fry plantain as the "small chops" at the bridal shower?” 

At a point, my students seeing how desperate I was, started helping me in the less than 24 hours planning of a SURPRISE bridal shower. 
Miss Mo, You can get a cake from coldstone

Eisss like these students don't know I am a teacher. 
Ordinary teacher! 
How much do they think my salary is?
Especially in February, when you have borrowed against your whole salary in January that did not want to end. 
Please allow me to be Ijebu
Eiiss it your Ijebu? 😒😒😒😒

Major Task: Invite the bride’s friends

So you see ehn, although my sister and I live in different states, we somehow somehow, get to hang out with each other every now and then. 
But just like me, even though we have a large pool of friends from different places and for different reasons, our keeping in touch with people('s) game isn't the strongest! 

Yes, we know, we know it’s a bad habit đŸ˜ĸđŸ˜ĸđŸ˜ĸ 
but sometimes too much crowd isn’t good *straight face* 

So the questions were:
Which of her friends had she told about the wedding?
 How many of their contacts do I have? 

Heey, who are Sister Queen’s friends and do you have their numbers?” 
Heeey, who are Lizzy’s friends and do you have their contacts?” 
"Our husband, oya oo-- send my your wife's friends' phone numbers"
When family and "family to be" were not forthcoming with contacts, I had no choice but to look for her friends on the gram.

My detective game is on point. 
As innnn!
see the way I went through all her posts looking for anyone she was in anyway extra nice to. 
But you know girls nah? 
Everybody is “love” “hunny” “dear”
Thank you love
You look beautiful dear” 😒😒
It was difficult! 
But just as I said, my detective game is on point -- like full stop 😁😁😁

Finally, all was set: 
I had travelled from my small village to her town, 
gone shopping, 
laboured in the kitchen, 
burnt small chops 😃😃
It was now time to expect the bride, 
(she had no idea I was coming to her house, 'cos she was at work when I came in to do the set up).

Just before her arrival time, I told myself and the people around:
 “Let me quickly shower and dress up before she gets home”. 

Two minutes later, while in the bathroom, someone opened the bathroom door 
Surprise party that the bride came to meet me in the bathroom 😃😃
I had to send her back to the door, to act surprised